THE BOMB

Here we have three sisters, each with a two year age gap in between one another, one apartment and a billion awkward situations. What happens when one of the girls must drop a bomb? Will the others stick around for moral support? Or will they run away, saving themselves from the aftermath of her explosion?

(Stella bursts through the apartment door looking anxious and manic. She runs down the hall towards the bathroom and once she reaches the door she's let down by the fact that it's locked. Sabrina comes out of her bedroom to see what all the commotion is about.)

Stella: Hurry up! I needa go! I needa go!!!

Sabrina: What’s going on? You just came home. What’s up with all the drama?

Stella: I just spent the last 20 minutes walking home from work, looking forwards to the one thing I’ve had on my mind ALL DAY.

Sabrina: And what is so important that you had to interrupt my L Word session in the bedroom for?

Stella: I need to take a huge dump and Serena is hogging the washroom.

Sabrina: Just go.

Stella: I can’t do that… she’s taking a hot bath. If I let loose my bomb while she’s in there, the bathroom is gonna reek of hot shit, and not the good kind.

Sabrina: How considerate of you... Wait let me get this straight. You’ve been holding in your crap all day? That’s sooooo not healthy man why didn’t you go at work?

Stella: I can’t go at work. There are only two toilets in the whole world that I can get comfortable enough on to squeeze my ass cheeks apart, so I can drop the kids off at the pool. Ours and moms… that’s it that’s all!

Sabrina: You’re nasty.

Stella: Wait back up… “Interrupted my L word session in the bedroom?” If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were a dyke, locking yourself in a bedroom with haha no lights, watching chicks screw on a tiny laptop screen?

Sabrina: It’s actually a really interesting show, sorta makes me wish I were a lesbian… but no I love men. Stupid, lazy, can’t pick up a goddamn phone men.

(Serena exits the washroom joining her sisters in the hallway)

Stella: Thank god I thought I would never shit!

(Stella pushes Serena out of the way running into the washroom and quickly closing the door)

Serena: She’s always so obscene! What’s her deal?

Sabrina: You were standing in the way of her and the one part of the day she looks forward to.

Serena: What relieving herself?

Sabrina: That’s a nice way to say it.

(Muffled sounds come from the washroom)

Stella: WHHHHHYYYYYYY COME OUT OF ME NOW!!!!

Serena: Well this is a little awkward….

Sabrina: It’s hilarious!

Stella: EXIT MY ANUS YOU FUCKER!

Serena: Are you okay in there? Need any help?

Sabrina: What are you gonna do pull it outta her ass?

Serena: Of course not that’s gross… but she sounds like she’s in serious pain and I feel bad like I may have contributed to that.

Sabrina: It’s not your fault that we only have one washroom.

(Stella exits the washroom with a look of disappointment on her face)

Serena: Did it go okay?

Stella: No it didn’t go okay it’s still in there… teasing me… refusing to crawl out! I’m gonna have to wait to die before I can finally go number two.

Sabrina: Want us to finish you off? I mean since you’re in pain… It would be like euthanasia and then you can do what you love doing most, in your deathbed.

Serena: Ewww I’m not coming to your funeral if your gonna lay there crapping the entire time.

Stella: Thanks for offering guys but I think I’m gonna choose life… even if it’s a constipated one.

Sabrina: Well there must be something you can do… why don’t you drink some green tea?

Stella: Can’t drink caffeine.

Serena: Prune juice?

Stella: It’ll come out in the wrong direction. I can’t keep that shit down for the life of me.

Sabrina: Eww if only that were literal then you wouldn’t be having this problem.

Serena: Wait if you puke won’t you feel relieved?

Stella: Naw man I feel like I have a rock lodged up my ass… there’s no way I can puke that out. It’s gotta go out the butt.

Sabrina: I think you’re handling this the wrong way… it won’t come out with force.

Stella: What the fuck could you possibly mean?

Serena: I think what she means is that you need to relax and get in touch with your asshole.

Sabrina: Yea haha maybe you’re depriving your crack of tender, loving and care.

Stella: You guys are loving that I can’t shit… I love my asshole if that what you’re trying to get at.

Serena: But are you in love with your asshole? Maybe you should acknowledge it as if it’s your significant other.

Sabrina: yeaaaa give it a nickname… sing it a song.

(Serena and Sabrina break into song)

Serena: “It was brown and it had raisins…”

Sabrina: “This is the poop song… This is the poop song”

Stella: hmmmm that just might work… (Stella starts to make up her own poop song on the spot.)

Stella: “It’s time to drop the kids of at the pool! IT’S NICE!!! IT’S NICE!”

Serena: Awesome now go to the washroom, sing that song and love your anus!

Sabrina: Tell it that you care, make sure it knows that you’re both in it together!

(Stella makes her way back into the washroom and closes the door. Serena and Sabrina put their ears against the door so they can hear and give her moral support.)

Stella: “It’s time to drop the kids of at the pool! IT’S NICE!!! IT’S NICE!”

Serena: Is it working?

Stella: Ohhh it’s working!!!

Sabrina: How does it feel?

Stella: It feels amazing! We’re in this together buddy!

Serena: Damn straight we are that’s what sisters are for.

Stella: Not you stupid… my asshole!!!

THE END

In the know

Ten little fingers and Ten little toes.
I must be clueless because i'm only ten years old.
"Mommy can i try your lipstick?"
"Can't you see i'm busy, hush little girl."
I wear my pigtails, with ribbons and bows
And when mommy has time, she turns my hair into a head of curls.
On picture day last year she even let me wear her earings, plated in gold.
Mommy doesn't know, that i know, what i know
That everynight she fears the moment daddy gets home.
How he beats her to a pulp, how she has nowhere to go.
I see the bruises that cover her in shame,
I notice her flinch everytime she hears daddy's name.
I hear her cry in the middle of the night.
I feel her emotions, I know she's drowning in a Ocean.
I taste her misery, she tries but she can't hid it from me.
I may be mearly a decade old,
But the truth is i know more than i've been told.
I need you Mommy, i'm so cold and alone.
There's no reason to stay, lets leave, run away
Every day you loose all might, as you lay helpless refusing to fight.
I know you're stronger than you believe,
If not for you do it for me.
What a bout my needs...
My safety is in jeopardy.
I may be a child but i know whats good for you.
Ten little finger and ten little toes.
please mommy listen to me,
I am your friend and he is your foe.