Why try to fail?

I want to be a writer, but i think that the first step i have to take towards evolving my dream into something more substantial; is to realize that it's more than just a dream. It's a possibility! But unfortunately just recognizing that I have the potential to be so much more is not enough.
I go around claiming that nothing is easy, that I'm disadvantaged and that things would be so much easier... if only... if only i were a poor little rich girl.
But I'm not!
And I'm glad.
If everything were given to me... what would I have to write about?
If there were no struggle, how would I triumph?
I envy those that have it all. But most of all I pity them... why? I am faced with life altering situations on a daily basis and because of that I know how to hold my ground. They on the other hand, wouldn't be able to handle the real world. With out their wallets; heavy with the money provided by their caregivers (a.k.a personal bank accounts), they would suffocate. The air we breathe in reality is not a sweet as the privileged would think. I like to think it's toxic and that I'm immune to the damages of the world...
I don't in fact actually think that. But I am going to start thinking that way from now on. Because if the world is toxic... and my blood is still flowing through my veins, and I am still breathing and standing strong, maybe i can make it?
Whats the worst that could happen?
1. I could fail...
2. Become a disgrace to all who know me (maybe even the few who read my blog.)
3. Give up on my aspirations...
4. Leading up to me giving up on myself.
Should i take that chance? Or is it better to go on living a dull and uneventful life, thriving off the experience of others. Go day by day, following the crowd and avoiding roads less traveled. Waiting for the moment that thing inside me burst and confronts me with everything I've ever feared.
1. Sitting around waiting... not even noticing that by not trying, I am exactly what I was hoping to avoid... A FAILURE!
2. A remorseful and self-pitying being in a constant melancholy state... without anything to look forward to I am a painful and spirit draining presence to all. My negative attitude and lack of conversation pieces (due to my new-found dejected perspective on life) will eventually loose the respect of those who are near and dear to me (maybe even the few who read my blog.) MAKING ME A DISGRACE!
3. The only thing that kept me going, it made me a firm believer in the tedious task of breathing in out and functioning just like the others who roam this world and just as lost. But worse because they are still looking... I HAVE GIVEN UP!
4. THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!!!


I will not go to that place... my art is my life and so i shall dedicate my whole heart and soul to my work... my work... because...
I am indestructible,
And this is my blog.
I AM A WRITER!