Weird

Birthday Calculator
18 October 1988

Your date of conception was on or about 26 January 1988 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Libra.
Your Life path number is 9.

Your fortune cookie reads:
If you want the rainbow, you must to put up with the rain. D. Parton

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447452.5.
The golden number for 1988 is 13.
The epact number for 1988 is 11.
The year 1988 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/17/1988 and ending 2/5/1989.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Raven; your plant is Ivy.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Choiach, the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 7 Heshvan 5749.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 8 Heshvan 5749.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.15.8.8 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 15 tun 8 uinal 8 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Tuesday, 7 Rabi'u'l-Avval 1409 (1409-3-7).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 3 April 1988.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 10 April 1988.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 17 February 1988.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 22 May 1988.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 29 May 1988.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 12 September 1988.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 2 April 1988.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 16 February 1988.

As of 9/14/2010 3:58:24 AM EDT
You are 21 years old.
You are 263 months old.
You are 1,143 weeks old.
You are 8,001 days old.
You are 192,027 hours old.
You are 11,521,678 minutes old.
You are 691,300,704 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Carly Schroeder (1990) Wynton Marsalis (1961) Jean-Claude Van Damme (1960)
Martina Navratilova (1956) Pam Dawber (1951) Laura Nyro (1947)
Mike Ditka (1939) Lee Harvey Oswald (1939) Dawn Wells (1938)
Peter Boyle (1935) George C. Scott (1927) Chuck Berry (1926)
Melina Mercouri (1923) Jesse Helms (1921) Anita O'Day (1919)
Lotte Lenya (1900)

Top songs of 1988
Roll with It by Steve Winwood Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison
One More Try by George Michael Look Away by Chicago
Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses
Anything for You by Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car by Billy Ocean
Man In the Mirror by Michael Jackson The Flame by Cheap Trick

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.13150684931507 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Friday.
Your lucky number is 6.
Your ruling planet(s) is Venus.
Your lucky dates are 6th, 15th, 24th.
Your opposition sign is Aries.
Your opposition number(s) is 9.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 34 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 22 candles.

Those 22 candles produce 22 BTUs,
or 5,544 calories of heat (that's only 5.5440 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.51 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1988 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1988 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1988 in the US there were 2,389,000 marriages (9.7%) and 1,183,000 divorces (4.8%)
In 1988 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1988 the population of Australia was approximately 16,687,082.
In 1988 there were approximately 246,193 births in Australia.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 116,816 marriages and 41,007 divorces.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 119,866 deaths.

Your birth flower is MARIGOLD

Your birthstone is Tourmaline

The Mystical properties of Tourmaline

Pink Tourmaline promotes female balance and protection. Green Toumaline promotes male balance.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Opal, Jasper

Your birth tree is
Maple, Independence of Mind
No ordinary person, full imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.


There are 102 days till Christmas 2010!
There are 115 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was in its first quarter.

Inspiration♥

"Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery"

-Jane Austin

You think it would be out of sight out of mind. But that's not the case. Not at all.
What you can't see is what you spend most of your time trying to envision.
And no matter how hard you try, your imagination cannot even touch base on the authenticity of a true moment. You can waste your time thinking of the what ifs? and what nows? Or you can live each moment as one sole entity leading into another. Each moment is as rare and precious as the next. There is always something greater and more profound to look forward to. There is always something to reach for... the possibilities are endless. You can always do more and you can always be better...
Always...
Always living an always withing a never♥

I'm Yours

Poetical discrimination through your slight form of hesitation.
I'm told to disillusion myself,
Try to somehow avoid your broad intimidation.
Yet you lurk around teasing me with your haughty determination.
To take me down!
To meet with you at your level of indiscretion.
You know i can't win...
I'm just an image of your creation.
I'm here to satisfy your needs,
To take your shit and all your humiliation.
I can disappear with a snap of your fingers.
Reappear in any position you'd like.
You can love me or hate me depending on the situation.
I'm yours for the taking.

Lesson

Your words are not important,
Not worth a second of attention.
Silence!
You think your speech,
Wise beyond your years.
Quiet!
You are deluded child,
Keep your mouth shut.
Silence!
To learn you must listen,
To listen you must be…
Quiet!
Wisdom comes from self-examination,
Knowledge although profound is not innate.
Silence!
And you will learn.

The Illusion of hope

I aim to be pleased, and above all to be understood.
I dream of being cherished, but know I ask of a miracle.
Where is this saint who could treat me like gold?
When I’m feeling down in the dirt,
Ready to be sold, for my last ounce of dignity...
This has perished, and turned to stone.
What is left to be saved?
When Ive allowed myself to remain lost.
Is their a value to my life?
What exactly is the cost?

I’d love to be admired, admire to be loved.
I yearn a feeling of connection, could it possibly exist?
Is their more to a relationship?
Than skin on skin, and lips meeting in a kiss.
I await a galloping white horse,
And am met with remorse.
My standards may be high, but my sights are set low.

Romeo O Romeo,
In a trance, he walks off the page.
He’s standing in front of me,
As real as a mirage can be.
Men like him do not subsist.
Can’t possibly manage reality, which is this.
I allow myself to fall in love with a fictional character.
I continue living the life of a great English novel,
In which I have major control over, as the narrator.

Weakened By My Needs

Weakened by my needs,
Struggling to find a means,
To continue with this journey,
That will lead to the power within.
Pain and strife dismissed,
Plenty more torture to witness.
Followed by a kiss; meant to keep me alive?
Why? To find solace in your abandonment?
To hold me hostage from my dreams?
Tie me up and victimize me, leaving me with nothing.
Gasping for air, while holding my breath.
Nothing to clasp on to, nothing to accomplish.
Your feelings for me have gone astray…
There’s nothing left, you’ve made your bed now lay!
Taunting the misfortunate, those fools who choose to love.
Taking advantage of their naive feelings.
Feeding on their compassionate souls, taking all sucking it dry.
Unforgivable your deeds will go, I’ll take them to my grave.
Scheming and planning my sought-out revenge,
The destination of your fate will remain unforgettable till the end…

Unforgettable till the end, remember when I considered you a friend?
Unspoken promises of loyalty,
I was a puzzle that only you could comprehend.
You figured me out, satisfied my needs…
Whispered me sweet nothings, comforted me to sleep.
I relied on you, like the air that I breathe.
The things I see now were impossible to visualize then.
You taught me to observe through rose tinted glasses.
The worlds a game, just like the one you played me for…
A complete charade, it’s all in your mind yet I’m forced to play along.
You coerced me into acting like a puppet on a stick…
With not much a brain and hardly any wit.
Your morals are unknown of; your ethics ceases to exist.
You live in a world empty of logic, reliant on other forms of rationality.
You’re constantly surrounded by a nostalgic air.
Being with you has caused me to loose all dignity…
Head hung low,
Weakened by my needs,
Struggling to find a means…
To my end.

The Guards of My Secrets

Want to know a secret?
Close your eyes and pretend to be me.
Take a second to dive into my dreams.
Hold your breath because in my world sweet air is rare.
Feel the pain inside my chest.
The weight of boulders pushing against my breasts.
The intense amount of stress nagging me constantly.
The hair on my head screaming to be pulled out by it's roots.
The voices inside; antagonizing the fuck out of me.
My tender heart bleeding profusely.
My thoughts begging to be heard.
The guards trapping my soul.
Imagine their blades...
Envision them trying to break through my hard exterior;
They break again and again.
Failing time and time again.
I'm protected but i'm a prisoner of my own making.
I'm my own victim.
I'm trapped and scared...
But you must look inside me to see.
I'm tired and withered but young enough to grow.
Now you know my secret.
So now you can open your eyes.
Watch me as i continue to live this tedious life.

New Beginnings

New beginnings start with an ending.
Starting anew, refreshing my damaged soul.
A deep breath of cold, cool air filling my lungs.
A tingling in my fingertips spreading all over.
My feet escaping the shackles planted to the ground.
Body feels light... lost and wandering.
Trying to find a home away from home.
Feeling enlightened... building myself up from scratch.
My foundations have collapsed.
I'm digging through the debris of my life.
Trying to find a light to follow.
The sun is shinning and the storm is a thing of the past.
No more tempest ragging war!
No more grasping at surreal ideologies.
Life is what i make it.
And i shall make it.
I'm prepared to reconstruct myself,
Starting from the bottom...
Working myself up to the top.
I'am a work in progress.
There will always be something to repair.
I'm starting anew.
I'm focused on new beginnings.
I won't distract myself with the endings.
I will always live for an always within a never.

Beyond Forever

Put all your faith into my hands.
Store all your love in the center of my heart.
Shed all your tears upon my soul.
Pour all your thoughts into my ears.
Give me your all and i promise to give back.
Trust in me and i'll never let you down.
Always tell me the truth and i promise to never lie to you.
Keep me in your thoughts and i'll think of nothing but you.
Hold me close and i'll never pull away.
Make me laugh and i'll be there when you cry.
My love for you is so strong,
It'll continue to exist long after i'm gone.
Take me whole and tenderly caress my insides.
Bring me happiness when all i want to do is die.
Break my heart...
I'll love you still.
I could never not love you,
It's beyond my will.

A song from a soul in denial

My life is like no other,
Throughout it has come no good.
My tale will make you shiver
Your knee’s will tremor and you’ll feel a cold...
A wind from beneath, from far
Taking you forwards.
Towards a journey with no ending
Set in a mind with no goals.

Put yourself in my shoes,
You wouldn’t if you knew.
What goes on in my mind,
What makes me do the things I do.
An evil gleam and a hideous smile
Comes from a soul that’s in denial.
Take a second to consider those shoes of mine,
Want to live a life so divine?
You wouldn’t if you could.

Try to picture me again,
A story of failure
And pity success.
About me, my life and my endless struggles
Rock bottom, lower than low
I guess from here, there’s nowhere else to go.
Except upwards, towards my dreams
Set in a mind that’s accomplished nothing.

So after examining a life so fine,
Would you dare imagine trading yours for mine?
Your kidding? Are you serious?
Have you heard a word I’ve said?
… well when you put it that way
I wouldn’t take yours for a dime
Things are difficult but hey… that’s life!

Put yourself in my shoes
Try walking the way I do.
Telling nonconstructive lies,
For the greater good.
An innocent yet vile soul
That’s lost in the wild.
Want to trade you shoes with mine?
You’d collapse after only a mile!

What is this?

I never thought it was possible to let anyone in.
Thought I'd always be alone.
Never thought I'd win.
Your heart so valuable beats against mine.
In tune we play music,
One beat at a time.
Your sweet voice is a melody.
Whisper in my ear.
You softly play my strings,
I shiver when you're near.
I don't understand why i ever feared...
A love like this so true,
Without it where would i be?
What on earth would i do?
Who knew?
That deep within my chest lives an organ.
And with each second it pounds against it's cage for you.
It's free now to roam and discover a new world.
So fresh, unpaved.
The soil ready to imprint the soles of my feet.
Let us travel hand in hand.
I'm ready to explore these new feelings with you by my side.
What was once foreign is now second nature to me.
You've helped me to grow and mature as a person.
I'm in love with you.
I hope i meet your expectations.
You've exceed mine and have gotten rid of all my hesitations.
It's not you,
Or me...
We are as perfect as can be.

Jezebel In A Strangers Bed

Woke up this morning,
Could barely lift my head.
Had no clue where i was.
It was somewhere new.
Introduced,
Without and introduction.
A strangers bed.

Body frigid from the realization of this uncomfortable situation.
Naked, striped of my clothes while trying to grasp at my dignity.
What is left of my pride slowly distinguishes.
Throat is dry and my voice crackles.
I feel as tho i'm being held hostage.
But i'm free to leave,
Forget with ease.
Which should be easy considering...
Can't remember the sequence of events,
That led me to a strangers bed.

I try to move but can't,
The sheets are tangled between my legs.
Everything is white... almost pure.
I am the human stain.
A sexual being,
Body like an instrument.
Music played for pleasure.
Tantalizing notes.
I'm a pawn in a hedonistic game of chess.
Is it worth it?
My body is no longer mine,
It's bruised and torn,
Broken beyond repair.
I'm not even there.
Just walk on me,
Past me,
Or better yet just walk on through me.

They call me Jezebel,
They call me whore.
I know what I am,
I know my role.
Barely even worthy of a name.
I'm a disgusting addiction meant to be used and abused.
Artificial connections momentarily satisfy my needs,
Keeping me sane.
Makes me feel a little less disposable,
Giving me a little less to lose.
This constant mind occupying delusion never fails to reoccur,
And always seems to lead me back to another strangers bed.

The rising action...

Never speak of what you don't know.
Don't make judgments,
Know that feelings grow old.
Nothing stays the same.
Things are not always how they seem.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me,
Tell me you'll stay true.
Try to predict the feelings...
That in a year or two will behold you.
Lock your heart into a vault and refuse to let it roam.
Free and independent,
Like all hearts should be.
HOW DARE YOU,
Try to put that spell on me!
I'm in as much love as my heart will let me be.
Relying on you is not the life i want to lead.
Take a step back and try to grasp...
Exactly what kind of girl it is you see?
I'm strong and bold,
Beyond your weak hold.
Sweet and genius, desirous to all.
Accomplished and liberal...
Above all sorts of misery.

Here is what you need to be told.
It's simply sad that you are not in the know.
What you and i have is not made of gold.
Our foundations are not worth as much as you think.
We will not be in love till we both grow old.
Or till one of us dies and is to be buried in the deep, cold ground.
Six feet under and we would still not make a great love story.
Because when it comes to you and i...
There is nothing to be told.
Unfortunately there is nothing to expose.
You are the rising action to my denouement.

Page for English B

The instructor said,
Go home and write
A page tonight
And let that page come out of you-
Then, it will be true.

My thoughts are all jumbled.
I can't think straight.
My knowledge is not vast enough,
To grace this page.
I'm simply young,
Not wise,
And barely cool.
My brain is not accustomed to being of any use.
I stroll through the same park,
Aimlessly wandering.
I sit on the same swing,
Going up and then down.
Reaching for the sky but failing to touch.
I sit on the same bench...
I sit and i write.

How am i supposed to know exactly what is true?
When i still can't manage to bask in my youth.
My time is falling, dropping, slipping
Out of my hands, i try to pull it back
But i watch as it splashes on the page.
The paper soaks it up, enjoying it more than i ever did.
I miss it's dancing, laughing and joy.
I yearn for it's beauty, energy and coy.
Maybe my youth wasn't what was keeping me from discovering my wisdom.
Maybe my mind could have grown and developed all along?
So will my page drink up all my childish wonders?

Since i am young... it will be young.
With a pinch of reason that has come with age.
You're so old.
Soon i will be too.
This is life.
Sometime i want to put life on pause,
And then there are time where i feel it wants to let go of me.
But i hold on to find the truth.
Life teaches me and i learn it's lessons.
It is old, experienced and wise.

This is my page for English B.

Sit on it.

Vulnerability at the heart of my insecurities.
Barriers beg to be broken.
Hurt...
And still hurting.
Wounds covered in dirt.
Going where?
I don't know...
You,
You,
You.
FUCK...
YOU!
Me is dying.
I'm almost dead.
No use in crying.
There is an animal inside me dying to be fed.
I'm weak...
Full of hate.
And in desperate want of love.
Love the one thing i know i'm not above.
I'm terrified of you.
You scare me to death.
I despise you for making me feel.
You,
You.
Fuck you.

Moving on...

Where should i go from here?
I'm frozen still,
Every bit of my is struggling to push...
FORWARDS!
Feet grounded,
Head in the air.
I'm being held captured.
Forced to relive the same moments over again.
Harsh and resentful winds,
PLEASE...
Love me!
And rescue me from my lack of motivation.
Release the negativity seeping out of my pores.
Defeat my doubts with your fists a pounding.
Help me take that one step towards...
An awaiting tempest,
Destined to beat me and make me stronger.
A steep, dangerous and unforgiving mountain...
Ready to take my life.
If only to teach me the value of it all.
Ravenous waters, thirsty to drown me.
Scarier things than the ground beneath my feet.
I yearn for heroic scars,
And stories of ambitious adolescence to tell.

Deep end

I'm in so deep.
I'm drowning.
Choking on my words,
Struggling with my thoughts.
Falling...
But it doesn't feel as i imagine it would.
No cold cruel air beating against my face.
No voice in my head telling me i'm going to die.
No life flashing before my very eyes.
No way to live.
No way...
No way to get out alive.
A feeling of numbness envelopes my soul.
Soaking me with darkness,
Dragging me into the depths below.
Barely able to breathe,
Suffocating and convulsing in my own debris.
I'm fighting a battle i know i'll lose.
I'm in too deep.
I can't go back.
No running away.
No safe place to stay.
No lights glimmering at the end to warm...
No way to win,
No way,
No way to conquer the being that is "I."

Plant trees (lots of them)

The city is on strike.
The humid air beats against the sidewalks.
A stench lingers,
Filling our lungs with toxic air.
Satisfying our distaste of living and breathing things.
We pollute our place of habitation.
We shit where we eat!
There can be no future while the present lays in shambles.
Laying in our feces we beg for a drop of water.
We think we are entitled to the earths natural treasures.
We have proven ourselves unworthy,
Undeserving of the jewels Mother Nature so kindly offers.
She gives and we scramble taking advantage of her hospitality.
This is her home and we are simply guests.
Temporary beings, here now, gone tomorrow.
And in our place we leave our dirt.
A token of reminder to all who come after.
If anyone manages to exist in the chaos we leave in our paths.
They'll know what we did...
We won't know what they'll do.
It's a mystery to us.
We'll be history to them.